I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, that he may hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. (Psalm 77:1-2) ............................................ A journal chronicling my struggle as a woman, to find my way out of an abusive relationship, and to find myself again.

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Location: Georgia, United States

Monday, July 26, 2004

New car, no more cat

Finally, some time to write! Although Emily is asleep in Dale's chair because there's a spider in her room and she can't find it.

Things are going fairly well. The investigators from DFACS came to talk to us last week, and took me, Emily and Abby aside individually to talk. I kinda poured out my heart to them, and before they left, they reiterated that there was to be NO hitting or name-calling in this house. And so far, there hasn't been! Dale laughed the whole thing off, "ha-ha, no big deal" but I think it got to him anyhow, because he's been especially nice, a lot of the underlying anger seems to have dissipated, and he hasn't been doing his usual pacing, in and out of the house. Aah. Some breathing space!

One thing I know has helped make him less angry is that we got a vehicle. It's a '91 Aerostar van. Looks great on the outside, and runs great, very smooth. I like it a lot. I haven't driven a van since 1974, so I'll have to get used to using the mirrors again. It needed new brakes, which he installed, and new tires. The interior needs some work, but the upholstery is nice and clean. We've bought two new tires, but the other two will have to wait until the 1st, when we have money again. Dale put $20 worth of gas in it, and the indicator showed it only half full. Ouch! $40 for a tank of gas?? I could fill up my GEO with $7! The van only cost $600, but with the brakes, tires, tax, license and insurance, it pretty much wiped out the $1300. Plus he gave me $150 to get Abby some school clothes, which I do hope will arrive soon. I have to order her clothes, because there is never anything decent in the stores in her size. Costs more, but I'm glad she always looks nice.

I have to take Emily's cat to the Humane Society tomorrow. I've been telling her since she brought him here (Feb?) that she needed to get a job and get him neutered before he got too old, or he would start spraying, and that I could not abide. Well, she didn't listen, and now it's too late. He yowls constantly and pees on everything in sight. I've told her that even if she spends the money now to have him "fixed", it probably won't fix him, because once a male cat starts that, they usually don't stop, even if neutered. It has to be done while they're young. She thinks I'm the bad guy here, but I can't stand a house that smells like cat. I intentionally didn't let myself get attached to him, because I knew it would come to this. Dammit. But she did go out job-hunting today.

I've been offered a 'job'. It's volunteer work, but something I can do from home, and something I really would like to be a part of. It's with Modest Needs. (www.modestneeds.com) Keith, whose brainchild Modest Needs is, is trying to start state chapters, and has asked me to be the state administrator for Georgia. Of course I said yes. This would be hands-on work, meaningful work, that really and truly helps people down on their luck -- Modest Needs paid our electric bill once -- and I'd love to be involved in something so personally helpful to people. I miss the Peace Corner Group something terrible, but apparently I wasn't meant to lead it. I do hope this works out. I'd be so grateful to be able to help the truly needy. I can certainly be empathic.

Hope all is well with all who keep up with this.



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