DaVinciFreedom

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, that he may hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. (Psalm 77:1-2) ............................................ A journal chronicling my struggle as a woman, to find my way out of an abusive relationship, and to find myself again.

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Location: Georgia, United States

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

06/15/2004

THIS CAME IN AN EMAIL FROM MY DAUGHTER JAMIE TODAY. I WISH SHE HAD LET ME KNOW SOONER, BUT I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE NEEDED TIME. I KNOW SOME OF WHAT HER LOSS IS LIKE, BUT IT'S ALWAYS PERSONAL. I ONLY HOPE I CAN BE OF SOME COMFORT. AND DESPITE KNOWING IT DOES NO DAMN GOOD, I FIND MYSELF ASKING "WHY????"
************************
Katie,

It's taken me a couple of weeks to kind of gather my thoughts and such, but I wanted to let you know that I lost my baby on June 3rd. I was 19 weeks along, but was able to deliver him and his heart kept beating for 4 hours. He just didn't have any lung tissue for them to work with. I wrote a poem that I thought I would share with you.

Also, just so you know....my doctor does know what happened and told David and I how we would go about fixing it the next time. I have an incompetent cervix which means that I can only hold so much weight throughout any pregnancy. They will put a stitch in my cervix next time between 12-16 weeks will watch me closely, will probably put me on bed rest toward the 7th month, and when they determine through ultrasounds that the baby is far enough along and the lungs are developed enough, they will unstitch me (probably somewhere between 32-36 weeks)and I will have to be ready to deliver at any moment after that. Good news for me is that I will probably never have to go full-term. Bad news is that I will now be considered mid to high risk.


Ezekiel "Zeke" Thomas Woodward
June 3, 2003
11.4 oz
9 1/2 inches

My son was born today
21 weeks too soon
His body was so small
Yet each detail was so perfect and amazing

His hands, his fingers,
His feet, his toes
The nails were already formed
And, he had my little nose

His body was shaped like his daddy
His little legs were long
his ears shaped to perfection
And his eyebrows had their place too

And, yes, Zeke was definitely my little boy
No doubt God made him whole
His little heart kept beating
4 hours long

His name means "God Strengthens"
But his little lungs....
They were just not that strong
So, God took my little fighter man home

I will never understand
Why I lost my son today
But, I thank God for my perfect boy
Who, I know, I'll hold again in Glory someday.

Love,
Mom -- Jamie Lyn Woodward


Ezekiel 1: 28b - 2:2 "This was the appearance of the likeness of the
glory of the Lord. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the
voice of one speaking. He said to me, "Son of man, stand up on your
feet and I will speak to you," As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and
raised me to my feet, and I heard him speaking to me."

This was the passage that made me pick his name in the first place and
then became all the more fitting when I thought of little Zeke's life
during the 4 hours his heart kept beating. It speaks of when Ezekiel
was called by God after he had seen his amazing vision. While Zeke may
not have seen this vision, he soon got to experience the real thing and
his calling was to meet the Lord face to face immediately.


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