I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, that he may hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. (Psalm 77:1-2) ............................................ A journal chronicling my struggle as a woman, to find my way out of an abusive relationship, and to find myself again.

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Location: Georgia, United States

Saturday, June 05, 2004


I am so angry! Emily had been out walking a few times today, and was gone for a short while before coming home again at around 10:30. At 11:15, she asked if she could go for a short walk -- "10 minutes" -- and I said yes, but she had to come home and change the litter box, and not tell me she was too tired to do it. She said okay. Helen is always busy on Saturday nights, and it's a very safe place, so I don't worry for her. 10 minutes didn't seem like enough time to go too far or get in any trouble. Well, 10 minutes turned into over 2 hours, and I called the police. Then Emily called (at 1:30) and told me she was at Ali's house. Ali is a friend, and I know her parents, so after telling Emily she was going to be very, very grounded when she got home, I stopped being worried for a few minutes. Then I called the police station to tell them she was okay and I was told an officer had seen her just a few minutes previous, and would go out and see if he could find her.

Ali lives in Cleveland, so if the officer had just seen Emily, there's no way she'd have had time to get to Ali's house. So I called Ali and asked her if Emily was there. I could tell I had woken her up, and she said no, Emily was not there. So, I called back to the station and told them that. They said they would continue to look for her, and an officer came to take a report. He said she couldn't be classified as a runaway yet, just as a missing person, a BOLO. Oh, I hope they find her, and the adults she is probably with, and take the whole lot of them off to jail.

I haven't yet decided what I'm going to do with her, but I'm not about to put up with this kind of stuff again from her. I want her to experience some serious consequences this time.

Yes, I am worried, but mostly right now I am angry. Of seven children, she is the only one who has given me this sort of trouble. I don't like cops at my house, and I don't like a child who thinks she can do as she pleases and never have to face it.

Talked to Dale today. He was on his sweetest behavior, because he wants very much for me to let him come home. I almost hate it worse when he's nice, because it shakes my resolve something fierce. After we talked, I told Emily that he promised he'd be nice when he came home, and she said, "Mom, he's been promising that for 35 years." Boink.

I am NOT a happy camper.

I imagine I'll have my water turned off on Monday.

I am very glad that Abby is in Gainesville, having a good time with her sisters, and not having to deal with more crap from the two Musketeers.

Ain't life grand?



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