DaVinciFreedom

I cry aloud to God, aloud to God, that he may hear me. In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refuses to be comforted. (Psalm 77:1-2) ............................................ A journal chronicling my struggle as a woman, to find my way out of an abusive relationship, and to find myself again.

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Location: Georgia, United States

Sunday, May 23, 2004

DaVinciFreedom

Hello

My name is Katie, and this is my new blog. I'm creating it as a way to keep a journal that my husband won't find. The reason for that is that I have just started the ball rolling to get a divorce, and he can't know until he's served with the divorce papers and a restraining order. I can't keep any kind of journal at home, because I've tried before to hide things like papers or journals, and no matter how well I think I have something hid, he always finds it. I suppose he could find this, too, but I don't imagine he'll be looking, so it feels fairly safe.

I went to a support group for abused women a few days ago, even though it felt weird. I mean, he doesn't beat me! But I know, of course, that there are all kinds of abusive relationships, and I am in one, no doubt about it.

I hate every minute of every day of living with this man. Every second of every minute of every day. I get so depressed that some days just getting out of bed feels like trying to push my will against a very sturdy brick wall.

I haven't always been this way. I fought my way out of years of depression and was finally getting my life together, and had left him, but I let myself, as so many abused women do, fall back into the same old trap. I thought I was doing a good thing, and I suppose I was, but it wasn't a good thing for me.

Now I just want out. I want my serenity back, my life back, my home back. I want ME back! And I want this for my children, too, especially Abby, my youngest.

So here I go. We'll see how it goes down, and how it ends up. Feel free to lend me your thoughts.

PEACE
Katie

2 Comments:

Blogger Katie said...

just to see if this works

May 25, 2004 at 12:38 AM  
Blogger Vikkicar said...

Hi. It does work. Hehehe. Got your link from Blogsisters. A few months late as it is, welcome to the blogging world. I started May of 2002. I never looked back. Heheh. Godbless.

p.s. I always read the first post. I'll try to read the rest. Will bookmark you.

August 11, 2004 at 10:28 AM  

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